Defeated

At the moment I don't know how I am going to do this. Have I set my sights too high this time? I mean, trainers are human beings too... and a good majority of them talk about how they had weight problems when they were younger and then started working out. Then that led them to want to help other people and thus they became trainers. But sometimes I really question my ability to do this.

Today was frustrating. I didn't make it out for my run yesterday so I was already starting out on a down note. I got ready and tried to play some pump up music but my Zune didn't seem to want to cooperate... playing the most unmotivational music possible. Whatever, I was going to keep at it. I put on the last t-shirt and pants I have that are clean and dragged myself outside. It was freezing. I lasted 8 minutes outside before I had to come back in just because I was too cold. I don't have work out gear for cold weather running and since it is supposed to be spring soon and I am low on money, it doesn't seem like the greatest idea to invest in that.

I just feel pretty crappy right now. I'm tired. It's getting late. I could go down to the gym and run on the treadmill, but honestly I just don't feel like it. It is as if all my motivation has flown out the window. I think I am going to resort to a workout video. I refuse to let today end without working out... I just don't know if I can pull the energy to go try and run again after the vast failure my outdoors adventure was.

I wish I could find more people on blogs here. I have tried but for some reason I can't find a search feature. It would be nice to have that support system. Right now I feel like and am pretty sure I am talking to myself.